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终于懂了根据雅思官方评分示例来规范你的英语作文
终于懂了根据雅思官方评分示例来规范你的英语作文

终于懂了根据雅思官方评分示例来规范你的英语作文

作者:qxsi   2021-11-25 08:43:01  点击:35

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  介绍评分原则的基础上,我们来对比实例,看看4分、6分和8分作文(注意:雅思写作小分满分9,越高越好)之间的差距到底在哪里。有比较才能有鉴别,知道了好作文好在哪里,也就能模仿着写出好文章了。PS 辅导班大概会讲无数套路或者模板,但其实这种对比的繁琐工作最有效,备考者能灵活运用的话,1篇足够。只不过备考者不愿意看、觉得无用浪费时间,没有市场自然就没人做资料;也算是作茧自缚吧。
  Task 2:
  Write about the following topic:
  Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However,some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects.
  Why is shopping so popular?
  What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals andon society?
  Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
  各位读者请花一点时间,自己列一个提纲或者先写一篇,然后自己去思考对比各等级作文是否满足评分标准、在多大程度上满足。最后拿着自己的同时看后面分析会更有效果。不愿意浪费时间的话也没关系,反正我已经学会了~
  4分作文(https://www.chinaielts.org/pdf/G/GTask2_4.pdf)
  6分作文(https://www.chinaielts.org/pdf/G/GTask2_6.pdf)
  8分作文(https://www.chinaielts.org/pdf/G/GTask2_8.pdf)
  写作任务回应。开头第一段,8分不走寻常路,除了第一句引入,剩下一个大段都在回应第一个任务,人为啥喜欢逛街。6分作文就很像常见套路的introduction了,引入话题 总领下文;第一个写作任务在第二段回应。? 回应各部分写作任务,check。但是,两者对写作任务的回应程度一样吗,或者说有没有某一部分论证充分另一部分相对弱?这个我们先搁置,放在后面讲。4分作文开启了侃大山跑火车模式,考官应该非常开心地看了开头然后给了残酷的分。
  语法多样性及准确性。请用改错的心态去看6分作文,有没有发现语法错误?如果没有,那一定要去加强语法知识的学习和敏感度,不然的话写作得分堪忧啊。
  Shopping as a leisure activity is an issue that arouses(arouses这个词6分作者拼错了,写成了araises,注意还暴露了想用arises这个不及物动词,正确用法只能是problems arise。考官:用词不准确啊,扣分!)endlessdebates(原文是an endlessdebates,这里数字不一致,有a 又有复数,一个辩论们?要么是endless debates,要么是an endless debate。考官:语法错误,扣分!). There are, therefore, manyarguments about positive and negative effects(这句没事). In this essay I am writing to talk about(原文写的是writing to about,两个词组搭配走串门了嘿,要么是write about 要么是write to talk about。考官:又错了,给我杀! ) the reasons of shopping's popularity and effects on individual andon society(这里有个不能算错的地方,虽然是并列结构,但第二个on一般省略更地道,不省也不能算错).
  对于6分作文,想要开门见山,结果开门见山崖,三个语法错误把自己掉大坑。语法准确度没了,多样性呢?简单句为主,第一段一个that引导的定语从句,第二段一个who引导的定语从句和when引导的时间状语从句。不能说不好,只是相形见绌。
  看看8分作文开头,不犯错 句句亮点完虐:Shopping is very popular among the majority of the population(同义替换people,同理下文所有,符合词汇丰富标准), despite(一个高级词汇,表示“不论”,可以与regardless替换) their age and social standards. Thisis due to the fact that(名词性从句下的同位语从句,fact 在主句中做due to 的宾语,that后面的一整个句子是fact的同位语,解释说明“是什么样的fact”,fact在从句中不担任语法角色,且引导词必须是that、不能省略。. Thisis due to the fact that 从句这个句型非常好用,在说明原因的时候一定要用,代替because。PS despite和fact结合的话会是什么?)most people find shopping as an experience which makes a difference in(搭配正确,difference in) their day to day life(同义替换rountine、daily life). Some people find themselves in adifferent world, surrounded by(surrounded是非谓语,表示人们被包围的含义,也可以理解成形容词或者定语从句省略;注意非谓语surrounded的主语和主句主语是同一个才是正确的。不是同一个怎么办?可以用with ,可以用从句,可以用悬垂结构。) various material things which they may or may not be able to purchase. Even if they are not able to finance this(finance符合词汇丰富的评分标准,同义替换了buy、purchase,还可以用afford;this指代词,有效连贯和衔接的评分标准;同理下一句those、全篇的they、it、some等), they find much pleasure in looking and feeling those things.and imagining owing them some day(-ing做宾语的三并列;owing 是having的同义替换,更高级正式的书面语 ). Some people go shopping when they really want to purchase things and they prefer to look around and compare the prices before buying them(非谓语/时间状语从句省略). I think most people love to go shopping because(原因状语从句) they could meet friends, make contacts with people and get to know what(宾语从句) is in the latest trend. It provides them a pleasant distraction from their routines and sometimes dull life(provide和distraction的搭配正确、词义恰当且不常见的高级词汇).
  这么一看,8分作文的四个评分标准都比6分高出一大截啊,得分高也是实至名归。货比货得扔,人比人得……还不能死,先把作文提高了~如果能不犯错6分作文可以向7分看齐;所以如果提高到8分很艰难,那么就从“少犯错 一两个亮点”做起~ 后面的部分,大家自己分析能不能搞定呢?

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